Lessons I learnt as a Mom!

12th May 2019

‘How is mom life?’, is a dreaded question, I have always hesitated in answering. Sometimes I say the usual, ‘It’s great and I love it.’ But in all honesty between you and me, it is not always that way. I’ve had my share of days when it has gotten overwhelming. Entering the mom world was new territory for me but I survived! (Cheers to that! )And along the way, I have grown in so many ways as a person (Size just being one of them). Over the last couple of years, I’ve had the cutest and most adorable tiny humans who have taught me some of the biggest lessons I missed out on.


1. Patience

The initial months call for you pulling an all-nighter, nothing remotely close to the ones you spend during your college days but the one you spend waking up every two hours to feed and pacify your babies. You have to do it. If it is your first baby, you are learning on the go. Everything is as new to you as it is to the baby. And most of us during our pregnancy look forward to the new cuddly little ones who are going to soon be a part of our lives but we are completely ignorant towards the reality that lies ahead and none of us are prepared. There are days you will break down, but you have to do it. There will be days where the kids decide to cry and you can’t get your head around to why…they have been fed, changed and slept but you still don’t understand why…All you can do to get through it is to maintain your calm and have patience. It is tough, I know. Being a mom of twins, trust me, I know. It is easy to lose your calm at that moment but if we just remind ourselves that it is all very new and overwhelming for the baby much more than it is to you. All they know is life within your belly, give them time, give them your love and be there to calm them down during it all. You can control your emotions but the little child doesn’t know what emotions are or the difference between crying and laughing.
Patience is the key. Just do what you have to and within a few months, you will be able to distinguish their cries and be a master in babble. And it does get better, I promise.

2. Planning and Organizing.

Schedules have been a life saver! If I didn’t have a schedule for Ethan and Mia I would have lost it. Imagine two babies waking up at different times when one wants to eat one would want to sleep or need a diaper change. I’d probably qualify to be a zombie with the sleepless night and catering to them all day and night round. What the schedules helped me with was at least a couple of hours to myself during the day for “me” time ( It helped me maintain my sanity). I’ll admit that not every day was a smooth sailing one, there were several days that we went off the clock like when they started teething or had the flu and especially when we travelled. That’s not it though, as moms we have meal planning, playdates, events, doctors appointments, date nights and holidays too to plan.
Apart from keeping a check on their milestones, you will have to start keeping a check on their sleeping, eating and pooping schedules too. Teaching them to sit, walk, talk, brush…the list goes on. And when you have two babies around having an organized home really helps. You never know what you may need at the oddest hour. 

3. To Enjoy the little things in Life.

Amongst all the chaos there are special moments too. One such crazy day was when both of them were down with the flu and needed to be comforted. All they wanted was to be cuddled. Sounds like a lovely day, doesn’t it? But even though all they needed was cuddling, there was laundry to be done, a sink full of dishes and the house was a mess. All the daily errands can be brushed off for the day but we needed to have lunch right? In an effort to put together a bowl of soup, I wore one baby in front and carried one in my arm and got to it. In the midst of all the chaos, tears trickled down my cheeks…I had reached my limit. While trying to get a grip of my emotions, I looked down at Mia and smiled…she smiled back! SHE SMILED BACK!! It was for the first time ever that she smiled back at me. That day was tough but that adorable smile was absolutely comforting and just what I needed. As they grow up you also realise that kids don’t really care about the latest toys or having fancy clothes. You’d be surprised at the things that make them laugh… jumping on the bed, looking in a mirror, playing in a fort of cardboard boxes ( much like Joey) and even an innocent sneeze. There is the first time they say, mama, hold up their heads, crawl, walk or just randomly make a cute face.
Mom life is a challenging one but it’s filled with tons of tiny moments as such. So when you do come across such a moment, you need to pause and cherish it. This is what makes all those sleepless nights and crazy days worth it. Enjoy the little things in life.

4. You don’t have to please everyone-

You learn to prioritize who and what matters. As a new mom and a young mom, I had a lot of people giving me their advice and telling me how to get things done. They may have the experience, they may be older than you and probably they have raised kids of their own. With no disrespect to anyone, let me tell you no one absolutely no one will be able to guide you to the t of parenting.  Each baby is different, each one is unique. What works for one will not necessarily work for the other. Listen to them and try it but you don’t have to if you don’t believe in it. You will also have a number of things you will have to start saying no to. No to someone feeding your 2-month-old chocolates, no to someone wanting to put your kids in front of the television, no to allowing someone to kiss your baby, no to someone posting your baby’s picture. You will upset a few in the bargain. Then there are certain decisions that belong to only you and your partner. From piercings to religion to schools. Certain people will respect your views and certain will criticize them. You can either be a parent and do what is best for your child or please everyone and in the end, regret your choice. On this journey, you will lose a few you upset but you will gain life long relations with the ones that stick around. You will find your tribe.

5. Unconditional Love-

We all have heard of it and we all talk about it but when you hold your babies in your arms and they look into your eyes. There will be no love greater. You’d do anything for them, I can vouch for it.  That love is pure, unfiltered and in its truest form.

6. you can’t control everything.

Let me admit it, that I have always been a control freak. I didn’t realise that until recently. Like I mentioned earlier, I had a schedule for the kids from day one ( I had made one months before they were born!) but here is the harsh reality…you can’t stick to the schedule every day. If you are anything like me, you will understand the plight of having to adapt and not being able to stick to it. Unlike adults, kids are kids because they don’t know what they want, they can’t differentiate between nap time and dinner time or play time. It is up to us to get them used to a schedule and help them realize when it is day or night and when it is time to play or eat. You may find it amusing but when kids are born, they don’t have a sense of time and can’t figure out the difference between night and day. You’d have a day laid out, a plan which may look like a walk through the park for most. But it is the same day that your baby may be teething and will be cranky all day and needs you to pacify her/him, needs to be cuddled. You have to do that. As a parent, your first priority is your child. We so often tend to forget that. You can’t control what your baby feels, needs or wants at any point. You have to be there no matter what. So take it easy and accept even though you can’t control the events of the day, you can sure control how you make your child feel…loved.

Being a mom also turned me into a better cook, a pro at hide and go seek and the master of babble.  Let alone the added skills of multi-tasking (pun intended) and having two-minute showers.

It has been quite a journey on the only job that doesn’t come with training. So I cross my fingers and hope that the future comes with giggles, hugs, kisses and lots of love.

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24 Comments

  • Brittany

    26th September 2019 at 1:34 pm

    Yes! We learn so much as a mom and we are learning daily! I love that patience is the number one thing on your list. It’s definitely something you learn and have to learn quick!!

  • Francine

    15th July 2019 at 8:05 am

    Finally got the chance to read this wonderful post of yours! And I must say just 2 months into motherhood and I can already relate to soo many of the things that you have written about.
    Thank you for this lovely reassuring and suppotive post, it really helped me see that I’m not alone in my struggles and that my days with my son are only going to get better ☀ ♥

    1. Anna

      17th July 2019 at 7:06 pm

      I am so glad you could relate. That’s my job well done then. A big hug to you. And welcome to this crazy yet fun journey of Motherhood.

  • Charisma fernandes

    7th June 2019 at 3:06 am

    Wonderfully expressed I must say…I could connect to so much of it…would love to hear more.

    1. Anna

      6th September 2019 at 7:45 am

      Thanks a lot! Have you got a chance to read the new post yet? It’s a letter to my husband. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as this one.

  • Komal joharle

    6th June 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Overwhelmed !! It’s so original and feels so connected to the readers whether they are moms , moms to be or anyone who likes reading, you are a true motivation for many where you are raising your kids so well and also following your passion of writing and cooking , I am truly happy for you and I am sure your blogs are going to help and keep motivating many parents, looking for more such experiences and good read from you👍

    1. Anna

      6th September 2019 at 7:43 am

      Thank you so much, Komal! Your comment just encourages me to keep trying to do better. Thank you!

  • Meryl

    6th June 2019 at 11:50 am

    Sent shivers! Written very well Annarea. I’m sure you are and will continue to be a super mom to your two lovely babies ❤️

    1. Anna

      6th June 2019 at 1:40 pm

      Thank you, Meryl. Fingers crossed! <3

  • Viola Fernandes

    6th June 2019 at 9:28 am

    On my way back home from work. My day begins when I reach home. No doubt it’s not easy. . I have just been able to read till point 3.. That got me tears. “Things are new for the baby” Is my take away for today. Stopping for now. But will be back here tomorrow to continue from where I have left. And will comment again 😘

    1. Anna

      6th June 2019 at 1:43 pm

      You are raising a child while doing a full-time job. It makes you badass! More power to you and thanks for taking the time to read it. It means a lot.

  • Shantel

    31st May 2019 at 4:53 pm

    So beautifully written Anna ❤️

    1. Anna

      31st May 2019 at 5:35 pm

      Thank you so much, Shan!

  • Carol David

    31st May 2019 at 12:04 pm

    Wow, fantastic, you have penned down all your feelings and I’m proud of you. Very well written Rea. Would save this in my Library. I look forward to see the young author in you.

    1. Anna

      31st May 2019 at 5:41 pm

      You’d save it in your library!:D It means a lot. Thank you!

  • John DSouza

    13th May 2019 at 2:45 pm

    It’s so well written Rea. All 6 bring out the never ending journey of motherhood. Keep writing. And yes this journey will always be with giggles, hugs, kisses and lots of love.
    Stay Blessed Dear. Hatts Off to you.

  • Claudine Dsouza

    13th May 2019 at 12:03 pm

    Yes, dear, I was going through and experiencing all the steps of parenting while reading your story. Though personally, I do not remember my own experience since we were a big family to take care of you my daughter and you took care of Elton. So I am actually reliving my parenting days with you and my grandchildren. I am really proud of you n proud of the patience you have while taking care of your family. God Bless you, darling.

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